First posted on 17 July 2002 ~ Keeping the perspective.

He had talked to me about Chasing Amy to explain how he felt about how one could know there isn't someone "better out there" unless one went and looked.

Except the movie isn't just about knowing whether there could be someone else out there; "to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who would complement me so completely."

It is about finding true love. Whether I am better, or rather, am not, is not the issue. Neither is whether there is someone else out there. He still seeks, because I am not "the one". If I am not, asking me to consider a non-exclusive relationship when he already knows, is just cruel; if I am not "the one", he should just say so and let me go. Let me not suffer the indignity.

I have thought of "widening my horizons" too. But I never did venture forth, because my heart tells me that though he is not the best, and there are surely other "better" men, he is what my heart wants. And I could not bear to hurt "We" by testing the robustness of my belief. And I know, somehow, that he would not have taken me back if I did take that first step, as he has now done.

Incoming SMS from XXXXXXXX. He is just a number now, since I've deleted him from my mobile listing.

"The only thing that matters is how you feel about me."

Not the temper. Not the children. Not even about movies and interests.

"And in the end, what she taught me was simple...In love, you have to put the individual ahead of their actions...always."

Have you ever loved *ME*?